đď¸Youâre Not Too SensitiveâYour Bodyâs Just Not on Board with Your Life
Low libido. Pain during sex. Arousal that used to be there⌠but isnât.
Snapping at your partner over something small. Feeling like youâve left your body entirely.
What if none of that means youâre broken?
What if your body is just trying to get your attention?
In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most important reframes I offer my clients:
Your body isnât betraying you. Sheâs speaking to you.
And if you listen, youâll hear that sheâs not saying âsomethingâs wrong with youââ
Sheâs saying, somethingâs wrong with the way youâre being asked to live.
This episode is a permission slip. A sigh of relief.
And an invitation to build an actual relationship with your bodyânot as a project to fix, but as a partner to trust.
đż In This Episode, We Explore:
Why symptoms like low libido, pain during sex, and fatigue arenât dysfunctionâtheyâre communication
What it means when your body isnât on board with your life, relationship, or patterns of productivity
How trauma, chronic self-betrayal, and objectification affect your bodyâs willingness to open
The difference between collapse and true rest
Why your nervous system might be screaming ânoâ in a whisper
How to start building trust with your body again (like you would in any real relationship)
A reframe for âbeing too sensitiveâ that will change everything
⨠If Youâve Ever ThoughtâŚ
âI should want sex⌠but I donât.â
âI feel numb, checked out, or exhausted all the time.â
âMaybe Iâm just broken.â
This episode is your reminder:
Youâre not too much.
Youâre not not enough.
Youâre just wise enough to feel what others have been trained to ignore.
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The DSM-XXX
đ Desire & Somatics Mythos
⨠100+ page reference guide: a RADICAL RECLASSIFICATION of what our culture calls sexual dysfunctionâand what your body knows as sacred. đż
đ DOWNLOAD HERE
DSM-XXX: Desire & Somatics Mythos is our 100+ page reference guide for anyone whoâs ever been told their sexuality is dysfunctionalâwhen really, itâs just been misinterpreted.
Inside, youâll find:
⌠Reframings of so-called âsexual dysfunctionsâ like pelvic pain, vaginismus, anorgasmia, through a trauma-informed, pleasure-centered lens
⌠Somatic context for things like low libido, pain, dissociation, and numbness
⌠Radical translations of what your body might actually be saying when it doesnât follow the cultural script
⌠Alternatives to diagnosis culture that honor nervous system rhythms, safety, and truth over performance
đ DOWNLOAD HERE
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You are not too sensitive.
You are exquisitely tuned.
And the moment you stop treating your body like the problemâŚ
You begin to remember sheâs been on your side all along. đ
Full Transcript Here:
âYou are not too sensitive. Your body's just not on board with your life. I could have just as easily called this episode. You are not broken or chronically ill. Your body is just not on board with your life or your sex is not broken. You are not erotically dysfunctional. Your body's just not on board with your life.
There's a lot of sexual dysfunction that gets mislabeled and miscategorized actually because of, um, your body just not being on board with your life. There's also a lot of relationship issues that, um, get categorized as just not having chemistry anymore, or not having attraction anymore. And this is because of, uh, again, like this, your body just not being on board with your life anymore.
And when people hear this, they can, they often jump straight into a story about how, and so what I mean when I say your body is not on board with your life.
Is probably a lot more subtle than you first assume it to be. So when the body is saying no, it doesn't necessarily mean that the stimulus in front of you that it is saying no to is actually the thing that it's saying no to. Let me explain. So if you've had unpleasant sexual experiences in the past, for example, if you have experienced, um,
an intimate boundary crossing with penetrative sex and you go to have sex with your current partner, and as soon as they. Start to move towards penetration, your body turns into a no. That could not have anything to do with your current partner at all. That could just be your body storing your experiences that have not been fully felt and fully digested and processed yet.
So. Not wanting penetrative sex or not wanting sex at all is an example of your body not being on board with your life. So let me give you some more examples of your body not being on board. This could present as what we call a erectile dysfunction or lack of erectile choice. Um, it could present as early ejaculation or lack of a rec, a lack of ejaculatory cho choice.
Um. This could present as a low libido. It could even be the source or heavily influence prolapse that you're experiencing. Your body speaks through the physical medium. It is a physical, incarnated, meaty thing, and.
When your body is in protest, what that looks like is you have physical manifestations of that protest in your body, like being like chronic exhaustion or headaches or even skin issues, autoimmune disorders. I had a client once that was. Always in overproduction mode. He was an entrepreneur, business owner and would go all day at his laptop from when he woke up to when he went to sleep.
Not even really not even taking breaks to eat, rest, or, um, just follow the natural. Cycles of, um, rest, rejuvenation and production of the day. And the reason he was coming to me was because his libido had disappeared. And what was more is that he s he was starting to experience a stress response when it came to, um, either initiating intimacy or receiving.
Um, an initiation of intimacy with his partner and this stress response, um, quickening of the heart, disassociation, numbness, mind racing, that's stress response. And the lower libido are your, are signs that your body is signaling. Something to you. It is a sign that your body is not on board with what you are doing.
And so our response to this is typically to try to use an intervention at the level of the symptom. So trying to find the right position or technique or right words to say in order to have sex. Or the right, um, stimuli to get you going. We try to pattern interrupt at the level of the symptom, and what we really need to do is go back down to the roots and start building a relationship with your body again.
And that is what somatics is. It's building a relationship like a full committed. Married relationship with your body and it takes some time just like building a relationship with another human being. Does this, as you're starting this journey yourself, take this metaphor with you. You are building trust with your body again.
And if you think about how, what it looks like to build trust with another human being. It's slow. It's like, hmm, I'm not quite sure about you yet. I'll try this one thing out. Not too intimate. I'm not gonna reveal too much to you. Um, but I'll throw a phishing line out. That's what your body does when you're first starting to listen to its signals.
And the signals are kind of weak at the beginning because you're building this strong foundation between the relational foundation, between the two of you. So the, the signals start weaker. And as you keep showing up for your body, which could look like doing a daily pleasure ritual, it could look like intentional masturbation or intentional self-pleasure practice where you set 30 minutes aside to just devote to touching your own body without any goal.
Um, it could look like. Sitting and journaling only about your sensations and not going into any story or cognitive frameworks or anything like that, just the sensations in your body. So as you start showing up for your body more, the signals of your body get louder and louder and louder and more clear.
So. Rather than your body protesting through low libido, other symptoms like that, your body starts sending you these nuanced and clear, um, and explicit signals and messages that really direct you to what she, he they need. And so.
Let's take an example that I see really, really often in my client work, which is that, um, there's a heterosexual married couple and
the woman's libido has really fallen off. She doesn't find that she wants to have sex with her husband anymore, and she's getting more and more aggravated with. What seem like really small things that happen around the household, like not doing the dishes on time, or not fixing that thing that has been on the list for a couple of weeks now, or, um, texting her to ask where the kids' uniform is, when they could just find it themselves.
So they start getting, so the woman starts. Getting more and more aggravated and they kind of come to this conclusion of, I am just being so dramatic. I'm being sensitive. And so if we allow, so at this point, if we allow the body to take center stage and have a, a full seat at the table of your decision making.
This lowering libido, you're probably experiencing less pleasure in daily life. All of these things are signs that your body is not in agreement with something that's happening in your reality. So maybe there's a truth that really needs to be spoken to your partner. Maybe you are being triggered. Um. By their behavior, and you need to do some like self investigation and self work with that.
Maybe there are some body image challenges that you've been living with your whole life and your body is just tired of being objectified and spoken badly to. And all the self-hate talk that we all have running in our brains when we look in the mirror and maybe your body is, is sick of it and done with that and ready to let that go and really, really wanting you to love on her again.
So the next time this happens where you are noticing. A way that you have checked out or you have left the building where you're blaming yourself for overreacting or being too sensitive. This is what I want you to do instead, I want you to try on the possibility that whatever message your body is sending you is from the deepest wisdom of the earth and the universe.
I just want you to assume for a moment, just try it on. Just assume that God, the divine, the universe, whatever word you feel fits with connecting with that thing that's bigger than you, I want you to just assume and try on that. That is speaking to you through your physical experience, through your physical body.
