It’s Not a Polarity Problem—It’s a Codependency Pattern (Why Your Nervous System Isn’t Turned On by Masculine/Feminine Theater)
If you've ever said, “I just can’t be in my feminine because he won’t lean into his masculine,” this episode is for you—and also lovingly coming for you.
Because what if what you’re calling a “polarity issue” is actually codependency wearing a crown and calling itself divine union?
In this raw and revelatory episode, we break down the seductive myth of polarity and reveal what’s actually going on beneath the surface: emotional outsourcing, survival stress, and nervous systems trying to find safety by performing outdated gender roles. Whether you're the partner who can’t relax unless you're micromanaging everything, or the one hoping your lover will validate your worth every night—this is your mirror.
You’ll learn:
Why your sex life isn’t broken—it’s burdened
How your nervous system reacts when emotional responsibility isn't shared
The difference between erotic sovereignty and erotic codependence
Why “waiting to be claimed” might actually be a trauma reenactment
What happens when we confuse sensual surrender with self-abandonment
This episode is a must-listen for anyone exhausted by their relationship roles, craving true connection, and ready to stop playing adult daycare in the name of polarity.
🧠 Key Takeaways:
"Masculine/Feminine dynamics" often disguise deeper nervous system dysregulation.
Erotic aliveness can't be outsourced—your turn-on isn’t his job, and your sense of safety isn’t hers.
Codependency isn’t sexy. Sovereignty is.
Nervous system attunement is more important than role performance.
Healthy polarity is not about archetypes—it’s about co-regulation, responsibility, and play.
💥 Practice of the Week:
Reclaim the part of you you've been outsourcing.
Sit with the question: “What part of me have I been asking my partner to carry?”
Place your hand on that part of your body. Breathe into it. Bring it home.
💬 Conversation Starter:
“Can we talk about the places where we’ve been leaning on each other for things we might need to cultivate in ourselves—not to disconnect, but to reconnect in a cleaner, sexier way?”
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The DSM-XXX
🌀 Desire & Somatics Mythos
✨ 100+ page reference guide: a RADICAL RECLASSIFICATION of what our culture calls sexual dysfunction—and what your body knows as sacred. 🌿
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DSM-XXX: Desire & Somatics Mythos is our 100+ page reference guide for anyone who’s ever been told their sexuality is dysfunctional—when really, it’s just been misinterpreted.
Inside, you’ll find:
✦ Reframings of so-called “sexual dysfunctions” like pelvic pain, vaginismus, anorgasmia, through a trauma-informed, pleasure-centered lens
✦ Somatic context for things like low libido, pain, dissociation, and numbness
✦ Radical translations of what your body might actually be saying when it doesn’t follow the cultural script
✦ Alternatives to diagnosis culture that honor nervous system rhythms, safety, and truth over performance
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Sacred sex ed, somatic rituals, and a radical return to your body.
💌 If You Loved This Episode:
Send it to a friend who keeps saying “he’s just not in his masculine”
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Stay sovereign, stay sensual—and let’s unhook from the patriarchy together
