🎙️Stop Treating Your Genitals Like a Smoke Alarm

If you only check in with your genitals when something’s wrong—low libido, painful sex, no orgasm, erectile challenges—this episode is your loving call-in. Your body isn’t broken. Your genitals aren’t malfunctioning. They’re just tired of being ignored until they start chirping like a *dying smoke alarm*.

In this episode, we’re unpacking the deeper roots of sexual “symptoms” and why trying to fix them directly often doesn’t work. From sex-negative conditioning to body image, from household dynamics to emotional regulation—we explore how your erotic wellbeing is connected to everything. And how healing it starts not with performance or pressure, but with presence.

💡 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why treating symptoms like problems to fix will keep you stuck

• What your genitals are really trying to tell you

• How sexual challenges often stem from systemic disconnection

• The hidden impact of body shame, emotional numbing, and unresolved resentment

• What it actually means to heal your sex life

• How your genitals can become a compass—not a crisis

• A simple mindset shift to start building erotic connection today
  
  

🚨🔥 LAST CHANCE FALL DEAL 🔥🚨🍁

Reset Your Erotic Rhythm is still discounted—but not for long 👀 November’s your final shot to get in before it hits full price in December!

https://www.bodycompass.me/self-paced-course-rese-erotic-rhythmcouples

🧰 Free Download: 

Free Erotic Body Reconnection Kit (Previously 3 Best Sexological Bodywork Practices)

The 3 most impactful practices from My Erotic Literacy Vault—
field tested in sessions, and personally loved by yours truly—
to Melt Freeze, Rebuild Trust, and Restore Erotic Aliveness.

Free Download | Created by a Certified Sexological Bodyworker®

Download our ultimate FREE erotic symptom decoder: 

The DSM-XXX

🌀 Desire & Somatics Mythos

✨ 100+ page reference guide: a RADICAL RECLASSIFICATION of what our culture calls sexual dysfunction—and what your body knows as sacred. 🌿
👉 DOWNLOAD HERE

DSM-XXX: Desire & Somatics Mythos is our 100+ page reference guide for anyone who’s ever been told their sexuality is dysfunctional—when really, it’s just been misinterpreted.

Inside, you’ll find:
✦ Reframings of so-called “sexual dysfunctions” like pelvic pain, vaginismus, anorgasmia, through a trauma-informed, pleasure-centered lens
✦ Somatic context for things like low libido, pain, dissociation, and numbness
✦ Radical translations of what your body might actually be saying when it doesn’t follow the cultural script
✦ Alternatives to diagnosis culture that honor nervous system rhythms, safety, and truth over performance
👉 DOWNLOAD HERE

🔥 Join the pleasure rebellion

Sacred sex ed, somatic rituals, and a radical return to your body.

👉 www.bodycompass.me

💌 Stay Connected

Did this episode spark something in you?

• Subscribe to The Nature of Pleasure to keep unraveling the myths of intimacy, embodiment, and healing

• Leave a review if this landed—we read every one and it helps spread the work

• Tag me on Instagram @yourhandle with your biggest takeaway using #NatureOfPleasurePodcast
  
  

Your body isn’t a machine.
It’s a messenger.
Start listening before it screams. 🌀💫

---

Full Transcript Here:

 So today's episode is a plea to stop treating your genitals like a smoke alarm. Stop ignoring the little light that comes on that warns you that it is a running out of juice. Do not wait until the annoying chirping happens for you to do something about it. Um. I mean, I'm joking you, you're welcome to start your erotic journey wherever you like.

Um,

but it really is a funny phenomenon because I do see clients, because they are dealing with some kind of acute sexual challenge. They're experiencing ed, they have low, uh, libido, painful sex and orgasm. Um, and they start seeking out help for that very reasons which. Which makes perfect sense and the road to creating a foundation of eroticism that is going to be strong enough to heal those acute systems, uh, symptoms is not going to be about directly about, um, solving those specific problems.

And if you have gone so long, ignoring the little tiny signs that your genitals and your erogenous zones and your eroticism has been sending you, and we've gotten to the point where that little chirping is happening, um, there is quite a bit to unwind at that point. And so I would like to talk about today.

What it means exactly to heal your sex. We are so quick to assume that our bodies are broken and that they can be fixed, kind of like a broken down car, like a machine. We just need the right part. We just need the one mantra that's going to work, but the reality is. When you are seeing symptoms and challenges in your sex, that is just the symptom.

And what we really need to be digging for is the root cause. And so if you, if you, and so if you think about all of the things that go into our sex. You really need to broaden the scope quite large. And so if we are carrying sex negativity, and sexual shame in our bodies, that is going to block our full eroticism.

And to unwind that, we kind of have to unwind 2000 plus years of conditioning. And cultural history that have taught us that our bodies are dirty, that our bodies are not natural, that our bodies do not have their own intelligence. And that's quite a lot. And

the other things that go into our sex are. Um, for example, our body image. If we, if we hate our bodies and we hate how our bodies look, that is going to block you from a full loving eroticism. I, we have to investigate our attachment to others and how that feels. We need to examine how household chores are divvied up in our home, and if that feels equal to us and if we feel respected in the way that our, our households function, we need to get curious about how we.

Relate to our emotions and our sensations. Are we curious about what we feel or do? We tend to kind of seek numbing out when things feel like they're getting too intense? So people are often really surprised that when they come into my office, they're coming for very specific sexual challenges. And the thing, the topics.

And the lands that we traverse during our work together are rarely just about sex, because sex and intimacy are essentially physical representations of how much we allow ourselves to experience joy. Like do we really allow ourselves to. Feel the joy of our lives to express joy to emote and to are, are we tolerant of the, the depth of our experience day to day?

And so to get back to the metaphor that I brought in at the very beginning. If your genitals have gotten to the point where they are doing the annoying chirping thing and they're being persistent, they will not let it go. Um, and the whatever symptom you're experiencing just keeps coming back. What is likely needed?

Is a whole system reeducation of how you relate to your body in the first place. And the absolute beautiful thing about that is, is that our bodies are wired to do just that. Our bodies are wired to work in partnership with us and our life pursuits. And so when we set an intention of just spending a tiny bit more.

Attention on them. In our daily lives, our bodies and our genitals especially, can actually inform us of the direction that we need to go to feel that fulfillment regularly in a world where sex is not shamed, where our bodies aren't shamed, um, and. We didn't have entire religious institutions that were training us to disassociate from our bodies and think of them as dirty.

In a world that is totally pleasure, positive, we would not just interact with our genitals when there is a problem to be solved. We would see them as a guiding light and. The greatest source of potential anywhere on our bodies because there are so many nerves there that are just waiting to be taken advantage of and enjoyed.