What Is a Sexologist Like in Bed? (And What a Sexologist Actually Does)
Let’s just get it out of the way: people love asking me what a sexologist does in bed.
There’s this fantasy that being with a sexologist must mean endless Kama Sutra positions, expert-level techniques, and Olympic gold-medal orgasms on demand. Or that I’m silently taking notes and grading someone’s performance like a very sexy schoolteacher.
The reality? Being with a sexologist in bed can actually be… kind of annoying. Our standards for presence are ridiculously high. We’re not into quick scripts, goal-driven sex, or linear “foreplay-main event-finish” models. We want you right here, right now, with no distractions. We’ll notice if you zone out. We’ll call you back if you’re going through the motions.
Basically: we keep you on your toes.
So, What Is a Sexologist?
Since we’re here, let’s answer the most Googled question: what is a sexologist?
A sexologist is someone who studies human sexuality — not just in the academic sense, but in lived experience. Some sexologists are researchers. Some are therapists (often called clinical sexologists). Some, like me, are somatic sexologists/sexological bodyworkers or sexual healers, working with the body directly to help people release shame, expand pleasure, and reconnect with intimacy.
We’re not medical doctors (so if you’re searching what is a sexologist doctor, the short answer is: usually not a doctor, but sometimes paired with medical or therapy credentials). We’re educators, guides, and body-based practitioners who believe sex is more than mechanics — it’s a pathway to healing and joy.
What Does a Sexologist Do?
Outside the bedroom, sexologists help people with things like:
Healing sexual shame.
Expanding erotic confidence.
Navigating desire mismatches in relationships.
Exploring intimacy after trauma.
Learning to listen to the body’s signals for Yes and No.
As a somatic sexologist/sexological bodyworker, I focus less on theory and more on embodiment. That means we use touch, breath, movement, and awareness to help you feel more at home in your body. It’s not about “fixing dysfunction” — it’s about growing your capacity for pleasure and safety.
Okay, But Back to the Bedroom: What Does a Sexologist Do in Bed?
Here’s the truth: sexologists don’t have a secret menu of tricks. We’re not human vibrators or porn stars in disguise.
What we are is relentlessly curious. A sexologist in bed will ask questions like:
“What do you notice right now?”
“Do you want more of this or something different?”
“Where does your body want to go next?”
We don’t assume. We don’t script. We make it up with you, moment by moment. That can feel unsettling if you’re used to autopilot sex. But it’s also wildly liberating, because it means the sex is never fake. It’s alive.
Clinical Sexologist vs. Somatic Sexologist
Since people also Google this: what’s the difference?
A clinical sexologist usually works in a therapeutic context, helping clients through talk therapy around sexual issues.
A somatic sexologist works with the body and sensation as the pathway to healing and growth.
Both aim to help you have a healthier, more fulfilling sex life — they just use different doorways.
Do Sexologists Make Great Lovers?
Here’s the self-deprecating truth: sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Yes, because we value presence, consent, and depth. We’ll never steamroll your boundaries or rush your body. We love when your No’s are as powerful as your Yes’s.
But also… sometimes no. Because once you’ve worked with a sexologist, you’ll never get away with lazy kisses or disconnected sex again. We’ll ruin you for small talk and half-hearted touch. Our standards for intimacy are just too high.
So, what is a sexologist like in bed? We’re not magicians. We’re not perfect. But we do believe sex is sacred, funny, awkward, holy, messy, and beautiful — and we’re committed to making it real.
If you’ve been curious about what a sexologist does, or you’re searching for a sexual healer near me, here’s my invitation:
👉 Book a free 30-minute consult with me, and let’s talk about how you can reconnect with your body, heal old stories, and step into the kind of intimacy that’s better than any trick or script.
Because at the end of the day, sexology isn’t about what I’m like in bed. It’s about helping you feel fully alive in yours.
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